negotiation

# Negotiation Tactical empathy-based negotiation framework from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss. ## Core Mindset 1. **People want to be understood** - Satisfy their need to feel safe and in control through active listening 2. **Listen to discover, not to argue** - Treat assumptions as hypotheses; let them reveal surprises 3. **Focus on needs, not positions** - Tangible demands mask emotional needs (respect, security, autonomy) 4. **Never split the difference** - No deal is better than a bad deal; avoid lukewarm compromises 5. **"No" is the starting point** - "No" means "not yet" or "not this way"; it makes people feel safe 6. **Aim for "That's right"** - Better than "yes"; signals genuine rapport and understanding 7. **Stay calm and positive** - Emotions are contagious; slow pace enables clear thinking 8. **Unconditional positive regard** - Respect them as a person regardless of disagreement ## Quick Reference: Key Techniques | Technique | What to do | Example | |-----------|------------|---------| | **Mirroring** | Repeat last 1-3 words with upward inflection | "Doesn't make sense?" | | **Labeling** | Name their emotion: "It seems like..." | "It sounds like you're frustrated with the timeline" | | **Calibrated Questions** | Ask "How...?" or "What...?" to shape conversation | "How am I supposed to do that?" | | **Accusation Audit** | Preemptively list negatives they might think | "You probably think I'm being greedy..." | | **Late-Night DJ Voice** | Slow, calm, downward inflection for key moments | Deep, reassuring tone | | **Tactical Silence** | Pause 4+ seconds after statements | Let them fill the void | | **Trigger "That's Right"** | Summarize their position until they affirm | "So what you're saying is..." | For detailed technique breakdowns with psychological triggers and examples, see [references/techniques.md](references/techniques.md). ## Negotiation Workflow ### Phase 1: Preparation 1. Research the counterpart (background, pressures, constraints) 2. Define your goal and BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement) 3. Prepare an **Accusation Audit** - list every negative they might think about you 4. Draft 3-5 **Calibrated Questions** to uncover their needs 5. Identify potential **Black Swans** (hidden information that could change everything) ### Phase 2: Opening 1. Use friendly, positive tonality as default 2. Start with **Tactical Empathy** - demonstrate you understand their situation 3. Deliver your **Accusation Audit** early to defuse objections 4. Encourage them to say "No" - it makes them feel safe and in control ### Phase 3: Information Gathering 1. **Mirror** key phrases to encourage elaboration 2. **Label** emotions as they emerge ("It seems like...") 3. Ask **Calibrated Questions** ("What's the biggest challenge here?") 4. Listen for pronouns: "I/me" suggests less authority; "we/they" suggests decision-maker 5. Watch for **Black Swans** - anomalies that reveal hidden constraints ### Phase 4: Bargaining For monetary negotiations, use the **Ackerman Method**: 1. Set your target price (what you actually want) 2. Open at **65%** of target 3. Raise in decreasing increments: **85%** → **95%** → **100%** 4. Use **precise, non-round numbers** on final offer ($10,230 not $10,000) 5. Include a **non-monetary bonus** with final offer ("...and I'll include X") ### Phase 5: Closing 1. Get **"That's Right"** before proposing solutions 2. Apply **Rule of Three** - confirm agreement 3 times in 3 different ways 3. Follow every "yes" with "How...?" to ensure implementation 4. If they go silent, ask: "Have you given up on this?" ## Handling Common Situations **They say "That's not fair":** - Stop immediately: "I want to be fair. Have I done something unfair? Let's discuss it." **They anchor with an extreme number:** - Don't counter immediately; use calibrated questions: "How did you arrive at that figure?" **They stop responding:** - Send: "Have you given up on [the project]?" - triggers "No" response **They seem irrational:** - Diagnose: Are they (1) ill-informed, (2) constrained, or (3) hiding something? - Use calibrated questions to uncover which ## Counterpart Styles Adapt your approach based on their style: | Style | Signs | Adapt by... | |-------|-------|-------------| | **Analyst** | Methodical, data-driven, hates surprises | Use facts, be patient, don't rush | | **Accommodator** | Friendly, relationship-focused, avoids conflict | Build rapport, but pin down specifics | | **Assertive** | Direct, time-conscious, wants to win | Be efficient, stand firm, acknowledge their points | ## Voice and Delivery - **Default voice**: Positive, warm, light-hearted (with a smile) - **Critical moments**: Late-Night DJ Voice - slow, calm, downward inflection - **After key statements**: Pause 4+ seconds - **Watch their nonverbals**: 7% words, 38% tone, 55% body language ## Resources - [techniques.md](techniques.md) - Complete technique breakdowns with examples and psychological triggers